not feeling girly at all

i am just not in the mood.  i have a cold which i can't seem to shake off and i just don't have the desire to dress.  at the moment, i just do not seem to be into been a girl.  i still read my favourite websites and blogs.  i am still masturbating like a girl, but i just don't have the will to dress etc.

maybe its just the weather?
or my cold?

second masturbation.....

following on from yesterdays first orgasm of the year, i looked forward to having another go.

this time i decided to use a little KY jelly as a lubricant on my sweet spot, and only use the small vibrator.



i laid back on the bed, legs spread, with thoughts of a big man taking me. i gently began to use the vibrator, with a minimum of movement.  what i did notice was that at times i would be hitting the spot perfectly and it was wonderful, but then the vibrator must have just slipped off a bit and although pleasurable, the build up to an orgasm was not happening as it was when i was hitting the spot.

i did find this slightly frustrating, as i was feeling myself building to an orgasm, and then without seemingly doing anything different, my build up was decreasing.

however i did eventually get there, but it was different to last time and pleasurable in another way. just prior to the orgasm my head a shoulders all felt different and as i reached orgasm, both of my hands started to buzz like the vibrator (felt a bit woolly too) and i had a temporary loss of feeling in them (because they were buzzing so much - a bit like when you sit on your hands for a few minutes and then get up)  my cock was obviously also buzzing (due to the vibrator).  i did not actually feel myself cumming and i had to sit up to see if i had actually cum!!

i could definately get used to this type of orgasm...!!!

First Masturbation of the year........



yesterday, i had my first masturbation of the year, and whilst i did not strictly follow my rules, i believe i did something that you would all approve of.

whilst sorting out some of my girly stuff, i found a small vibrator, similar to a maglite torch in size, taking two AAA batteries.  so instead of rubbing my cock with my little finger, i lubed up by using some saliva (which i had to keep topping up) and then placed the tip of the vibrator on the sensitive bit below my cock head.

i was already hard after thinking about something which i will hopefully blog about in the next couple of weeks or so.  i did have to move the vibrator slightly to increase the sensations, but it was very slight.  the orgasm did build up slowly, and was not "earth shattering" as i came, although it was very pleasurable.  the cum did a bit of a spurt, but nothing like it did to when i used to jerk like a man.

overall, satisfying, and something that i could (and will) get used to, but nowhere near as good as the anal orgasm i had (see earlier posts).

A new year, a new sissy??

i am not one for making new year resolutions, but i thought a bit more about it this year.
i have decided that in order to improve my sissyness i will do my best to stick to the following "training notes"

1) when masturbating, i will only do it as a girl as stated in a previous post.  i will not grab my cock and beat my hand up and down wildly. .

the goal of this is to be as close to a female as possible.  this should also cut out any "quickies" that i intend to have.

my only exception to this is when doing a milovana tease, but that tease mut be a training tease to make me more of a sissy.

2) i will study make up more.  i can do some basic make up, but i want to be more advanced.  i want to study colours, styles, application techniques etc.

i intend to watch and study all of the Lauren Luke videos on youtube along with her other tips.

to start this, i bought myself a nintendo ds for christmas.  there are some make-up games on there.

3) when playing games i will do my best to play girly games.  i have already bought a few of the imagine titles for the ds, along with some fashion and makeover games.  i hope to spend more time playing girly games than any other type.


4) i will also try to wear a bra to work more often.

5) i will try to watch more "training videos" such as the ones at adulthypnotic wishes and others that subliminally train you to act and think like a girl.

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toys and tools

continuing on with stuff.....

i especially like the second one.  we should all know that off by heart!!!