Dear Diary.....

some of my regular readers will have now read all of the "diary" entries that i made while trying to arrange some sex for myself.  it was very disappointin that this came to nothing, but i am glad that i kept a diary, and it was strange reading it through, looking at my thoughts from the time.  If anyone else experiences something similar then i suggest you keep a diary (and publish it!!)  you may be surprised by what you have done / thought....

i didn't publish it at the time, as i wasn't sure i could keep up to it daily (or hourly in some cases).

anyway.....

As previously mentioned, i bought a "nu-bra" (more on that later), but i did fail to mention that after i got dumped / stood up / let down (etc) , without thinking, i did what many real girls do when they "change men"

i changed my hairstyle, or more exact - bought a new wig. 

it was a total unconscious thought.  i just sort of decided there and then that i needed a new hairstyle, a new look.  maybe this was my mind saying lets try another look and see if that can get us some sex.....  or maybe i am over analysing this.

the wig came a few weeks ago, but today was the first chance i really had to try it on. the hair is very soft, but a few pieces did fall out.  i tried it on with a little white blouse, short black pleated skirt and 4" heels.  i looked - different.  it really is surprising how different you can look with a different hairstyle and colour.

i looked more serious, not as much "fun" as my other hair style (longer, blond)

i am not convinced about the nu-bra yet though.  it did pull my chest together, but there didn't seem to be any cleavage created, although i am quite slim (circa 10 stone 4 pounds) so that might be why.  i think it is one of those things that needs a day to play with it to get the best out of it.

7th September

as you can guess, i have received nothing.  no phone calls, no text messages and no emails.

i might as well tell this guy to go get fucked, but that is what i wanted - to get fucked!!!

i would blow him out but.....(you get the point!!)

i could not get much (read any) sex when i was younger.  i thought that as a boy, all the girls were either saving themselves, not bothered with me or getting it by some hungry young stud.  i was on the outer.

i have always thought that if i was a "real" girl, i could just about have sex anytime i wanted as there is always a horny man around.  however, now i am a girl (in my mind and dress) and i know i have a limited amount of men to choose / allow to have sex, it would be easy because i believe all men went sex.  whether that be with a woman, man or a sissy, men still want to have sex.

so here i am, a man approaches me wanting sex, i say yes lets get it on, and then nothing.  surely it can't be me that is at fault.  he has seen photos of me and was still asking me for sex.

---------

this morning i took the matter into my own hands (and ass)  i was so horny i just couldn't wait any longer.

i did not have a lot of time, so i quickly stripped off, got my dildo and after a quick bit of lube, slid my medium butt plug in my ass.  after a second, it went in quite easily and i then started to suck on my dildo a little.  after less than a minute i realised that what i wanted was my dildo in my ass, not my mouth.

i was not sure that i could easily take my dildo, so without any lube (except my saliva) i sat down on it, and it slipped straight in.  i gasped and couldn't beleieve how easy it went in.  it seems i was so horny, my ass was opening up waiting to be filled!!

i rode the dildo for a while and i think if i had more time i would have been able to cum without pulling at myself, but time was short and so i pulled myself t othe same rhythm that i bounced on my dildo.  result - a big orgasm (not earth shattering, not all body, but big)

when i calmed down, my only thought was - "that is what you have missed out on mister..."

6th september 2011

7.00am turned on phone hoping he will call me.  No text messages received and no voice mail left.

checked email, no email  beginning to feel a bit sad

had a quick try on of my skirt and heels, felt really good and i felt really sexy in them.  i seemd to be able to walk like a girl today, i just feel confident walking in the heels.  practiced walking into his room and what i would do / say when he first saw me dressed.

7.40 got changed and started to set off for work.

7.45 as i was just leaving the house, i heard my phone "ringing" (i have two mobile phones, one for myself, and susan has an old pay as you go one)

my heart was beating so fast you wouldn't believe it, i was so excited i pulled the phone out of my pocket, i felt like a 12 year old girl, about to jump up and down screaming.  i then noticed that i had just knocked the "play" button for the mp3.  laughing at this blond moment, i turned off the phone, took a deep breath, tried to calm myself down and headed for work.

checking my emails on a regular basis (and the phone) - nothing

2.00pm.  still nothing
3.10pm still nothing.  decided that if he doesn't call, then i am going to have some rough sex with my dildo in the morning.  i need something in my pussy.  would prefer to feel him though.

its now 4.15 and still nothing
from 1.30pm saturday until now, i have sent 4 emails to him, without a single reply / text / phone call except for the one i think could have been him, but might just as easily been a wrong number.  what has a girl to do to get some cock!!  i wouldn't mind so much, but he got back in touch with me to arrange something.  maybe i am too eager.