Feeling manly. Aaarrghhh....

I can't believe that I am feeling so "male" today. I have immersed myself in everything girly.

I have painted my fingernails clear.
I have only watched girly tv
I have only listened to girly pop music
I have not cum in over 18 days

But I just do not feel girly.  I have found myself looking at women's boobs, ass and legs when I know I shouldn't be.  I feel like I am beginning to be attracted by woman rather than wanting to be one.

I have even read sissy websites etc, but I don't seem to have a lot of interest.

In the morning I will be allowed to cum, using only one fingerone fingernails with a dildo in my pussy.  I thought I would be desperate for it, but at the moment I am not.

Maybe things will be better tomorrow.........

wear your bra to work week

As the title suggests, i have been super girly this week and worn my bra to work everyday.

this is the first time ever done this at my new place of work (i have been here for about 18 months now), and it felt fabulous.  i was very subconscious at the start of the week as to whether my bra would show though my shirts etc.  I usually wear a white t-shirt underneath as it is often cold in our office (everyone else thinks it is warm, but i think it is cold - just like a girl!).  as the week went on, my shirts became more fitting and tighter, so the bra became more noticeable if someone was looking.

on arriving at the office on tuesday i was sent straight out to Telford (2.5 hr drive) with a colleague.  He is in his early 40's, quite "manly", and a bit of charmer with a ladies.  not overly attractive, but as i have said he has no problem getting women.  it must have been quite a contrast as little old me was sat in the passenger seat, legs crossed at all times with hands delicately laid on my knees.  only moving my hands to talk.

i also noticed him checking out any other girls / women that we saw, almost to the point of leching over them and straining his neck.  a typical man, only after one thing!  i bet he didn't notice how cute her shoes were, how she had done her make-up or wondered how long it took to get hair looking that.  but one of us did.

Obviously, when we called at the toilets, he went to the urinal and i went to the stalls.  he must have thought i have a bug or something, unless he twigged that i am a sissy.

following the period simulation rules (i still have to post about), i am supposed to feel a rise in my sex drive as this week progresses, wearing more revealing clothes, sexier underwear etc.  a funny thing is that i actually did, but i did it subconsciously.

i started the week in a pair of aqua and pink boy shorts, then a white thong for two days, then a black and white lacy thong.  friday i wore a black G-string.

i did see one colleague looking at my face in the office and i could see his eyes keep looking down at my chest, then my face, then my chest, then my face.  i don't know if he saw anything, but it was definitely how a real man would act when talking to a pretty girl.  maybe someone had seen something and he was checking me out to see if it is true?

it has been a fun week, and i am sure that wearing panties and a bra has helped me keep calm throughout what was actually quite a stressful week.  it is hard to get mad and shout when you are wearing sexy underwear!!!!!!

shoes shoes shoes part 2

well i went to do my site visit and i didn't buy a pair a shoes.

i bought two pairs of shoes!!

i have only tried them for a little time, but enough to know i am going to like them.

i was not dressed feminine in any way, except for wearing panties and an unpadded bra. i had a good look around the woman's department of the store, looking at dresses and trousers (there wasn't anything that really turned my eye) before i settled down and went shoe shopping.

i found the camel / nude pumps first but the first location did not have my size (i am a size 9 in male shoes, so i knew it should be difficult).  a look at the second location also turned up a blank, but i did try on some size 8 while wearing 2 pairs of socks (i wear these for my safety boots).  the pumps were tight but i thought i may get away with it. i had a think about it, then put them back.

i then saw some peep toe pumps with a 5.5" heel. and they had my size.  tried them with 2 pairs of socks and they fitted nicely.

it then struck me that i had 2 pairs of socks on, and that maybe the other pumps in size 8 would fit with one pair of socks.  i tried it again, and they did. fit quite snugly.  tried them both on and stood in the store a little admiring them.
there were a few women who came past and looked at the shoes / me, but i was too engrossed in my shoe shopping.  i think if a bomb went off i wouldn't have noticed.  the nude / camel pumps only have a 4.5" heel, but i think they will be fun.

now i was in sissy delirium and decided that i wanted some costume jewellery, so went and added a set of bracelet, necklace and earrings to my basket.  i don't think i will wear the earrings though as i don't have pierced ears.

still on a high i went to check the christmas gift section and noticed an eye shadow set for a very reasonable £2.  bargain, into the basket it went.

next stop was the make-up isles, but i didn't really see anything i wanted, however i did but some foundation powder, after trying a couple of sample colours.  hopefully i have picked the right shade.  i should now be able to set my foundation properly.

i couldn't see anything else, so started to head for the exit.  i did however notice several men have a second look when they saw what was in my basket!

i thought about a self checkout, but what fun would that be?  so i joined a queue at in a quiet area. There were about 3 in front of me, and at least two behind me when I reached the checkout. I never noticed whether the woman behind me saw what was in my basket, but if she did, she made no comment. The lady on the checkout was about 50yrs old and scanned my items and handed them to me to pack in bags. After I had paid by credit card, she slowly handed me the receipt and gave me THE look that said “I know these are all for you, sissy”, with a little wry smile. I proudly smiled back and said thanks, hope fully portraying the “ I know you know that these are for me, I am a sissy!”.


Anyway they had to be for me didn’t they? How many real woman would buy two pairs of heels in two different colours at the same time, along with some makeup and jewellery?

I proudly carried the bags out of the store and to the car. As some of you sissys know, when you have something like that at the side of you, you just cannot wait to try them on again.

As the black pumps were a kind of velvet, and it was wet/raining I decided on trying on the nude pumps and walking a lap of the car. This I did, and they seemed very comfortable, and not too high. Maybe my heel practice is working, although I cannot say how ladylike I looked!

Can’t wait to get some real time to wear them both for some extended periods or for some dancing.

******

quick update to the above - i have tried them both on and they fit fantastic.  the nude ones are a little tight, but not much.
the black ones have a 1" platform and a 5.5" heel, and they make my legs and ass look awesome!!!!

i am definately getting better at shopping.  hopefully tomorrow i will have a bit of time to dress and put on a full outfit and do my hair and make-up.  sooo giddy i can't wait. xx

shoes shoes shoes

i have always liked the look of high heels, even when i was pretending to be a man and watching girls walk in them was just so sexy.  as a man i was very much a "leg and bum" man, and i didn't really understand the fascination with boobs.  seeing a girl in high heels and a little skirt, the way she walked, the way the shoes made her legs look longer and the way she wiggled her bum was a big turn on for me.

now, though as i have grown into the sissy i am, the shoes have been important.  i own 2 pairs of heels, some ankle boots with heels and a pair of ballet flats.  the photos attached here are of some of the cute shoes that i have seen and that i think would fabulous in my wardrobe.

i have always seemed to manage with this many shoes, as usually i turn to my trusty 4" stilettos that seem to go with any outfit i wear!  i suspect that this is because i usually lean towards what you may describe as more slutty clothes.  i am sure you know what i mean!

however as my sissy hormones appear to be in overdrive at the moment, i find my self inexplicably drawn towards shoes.  and more shoes.  i am really enjoying looking at pictures of them, telling myself which ones i think are cute and which ones would suit the dresses / skirts that i have or what i would love to wear to an occasion (e.g. a wedding / formal party etc)

 

thinking of shoes and the wanting of shoes is currently number one topic in my sissy mind, very closely followed by make-up and how to do it / what colours are used.

when i see a girl i look at her eye make-up first and try to make a note how she has done it, secondly i look at her shoes, to see if they are something that i would wear, or whether i know of a pair that would suit the outfit better.

i am going on a site a visit today, and hopefully where i am going will have some camel platform heels in my size.  hopefully my necessity to buy shoes will be realised today.

the shoes i am after are very similar to Catherine Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton)'s favourite Nude LK Bennet Sledge Pumps.  you can tell i am still keeping up with fashion if i can name a celebrity's favourite shoes!!

one other thing i will add is that i just love Catherine's style and clothes - i guess that is what been a princess is all about!

a little bit of drama

Well, as alluded to in my last post i visited Bristol for a site inspection yesterday, and the following is what happened.  all photos are either of the clothes i wore, or used to illustrate the story!

i was up slightly earlier than normal, and put on a white thong and some black tights under my work trousers.  (as a side note my wife does not know about my current level and need for dressing, we played once but nothing ever came of it and she is uncomfortable with it i think).  so i left house at about 7.30am with a view to getting changed en route.

the first stop was the first motorway services, only 5 mins from home, but what i thought would be a good place to quickly get changed.  i was wrong.  the plan was to park well away from anyone and then put on a bra, a skirt and some ballet flats to drive in ( i have tried to drive in heels before and i think it is not safe).

i know i am technically doing nothing wrong, but the first thing i noticed was the police parked up in the far corner, exactly where i was going!  the services was also very busy, so much so i ended up leaving and heading to the next services with a view that i would get changed no matter what.

so after a further 20 minutes drive i pulled up at the next services, away from anyone and began to get changed.  but there was still plenty of people around, and i was sure some were looking as a stripped off, put on a white t-shirt bra, my breast forms, a black skirt that came to about 3 inches below my knees and my new wig.  a coat of red lipstick completed the look.

i was very wary of people around me, especially as i got out of the car, straightened my skirt and put my trousers in the boot, therefore forcing me to get out again at some point.

Then susan was then on her way, and almost immediately the traffic ground to a halt.  i was quite self-conscious but my fragile confidence grew a little as it seemed no-one took any notice of the sissy in the car next to them.  i am sure some men gave me a bit of a look, but i didnt notice.

so i drove for couple of hours, i know i got some glances a s a few men overtook me, and i caught them looking, but there look did change a bit when they saw my face.  i guess i am not that girly yet, again probably due to my make-up skills.

eventually i had to stop, so i pulled up in some more services, looking for a quiet spot to get out and get my trousers out of the boot.  no such luck. in the quiet areas were the odd person sat in their cars/vans just looking around.  i parked up facing the entrance road and after 5mins just got out and got my trousers.  i put them on and took the wig off.  i wonder what they thought when they saw a man walk out of the car after seeing a girl get in!

i kept the padded bra on and the ballet flats that showed a lot of my nylon coated feet (the shoe only just covered my toes and had a bow on it - just like the above but without the heel)  my shirt was also quite slim fitting, so my bust did show quite a bit so i put on my fleece, which if just fastened an inch at the bottom, highlighted my breasts more!

i was obviously very self conscious walking in girls shoes, but no-one seemed to notice.  i got a coffee from costa as the other coffee shop was very busy and i went for the least people one, then back to the car to get changed again.

putting my skirt on was not a problem, but  a man came and stood about 10yds from the car, just watching people come into the car park.  eventually i just had to put it on, but as i did he walked away, so i was able to straighten my skirt and put my trousers back in the boot.

all the way there and back i only listened to katy perry, hannah montana or britney spears.  total girly immersion.

the journey took me straight the middle of bristol, in heavy traffic, and i did get a few looks!

when i finally arrived at 12pm a quick change out of my skirt in the asda car park, putting my safety boots on instead of ballet flats, but keeping my bra and breast forms on, covered with my fleece.  i opened my fleece whenever i wasn't with someone i knew.

i was setting off back to yorkshire at 1.15pm, and just got changed in the asda car park, obviously my confidence was now up a bit.  i then set off back through a busy bristol, stopping at the front of many traffic lights before getting onto the motorway.

then.......   the car started overheating and i had to limp into the next services.  knowing i needed to have a look beneath the bonnet i parked away from as many people as possible (remember i had my skirt etc on), but my car decided otherwise and at the moment i parked up decided to activate a smoke screen of steam from the bonnet!!!  everyone in the car park noticed.

i was sat there, i dare not get out for fear that if someone did think i was a girl they would come over and help the damsel in distress, but would get a shock!!

so i sat and sat until the smoke cleared, and especially until 2 cars parked almost opposite had finished their coffees and gone, before i got out, grabbed my trousers and got changed to look at the car.  as suspected i had blown a hose, so i rung the rac who said they may tow me home or to a garage near me, after a prolonged discussion as to whether the company had paid the bill (we had).

this meant a quick change of tact for me.  knowing that the car could get towed to the managing directors brothers garage, and i was going to get dropped off at home as i was.  so it was off with the bra etc, and an attempt to hide my bag of girly clothes in the boot.

as it happened the car was managed to be repaired on the spot, but it did take nearly 3 hours due to the difficulties of the positioning of the hose.

it was dark when the rac man left, so i was quickly back into sissy mode.  i grabbed my bra and forms, put on my ballet flats and went to the toilets to get changed.  i stubbed my toe very hard as i didn't see a kerb in the dark.

bra back on, breast forms in.  i kept my coat open and grabbed a coffee before getting back to the car and putting on my skirt and some lipstick and off home.  got stuck in major traffic around birmingham, again getting a few views from other drivers.

as i nearly got home, i pulled into the local services to get changed.  again there was police in the quiet bit and a gang of lads hanging around.  i parked best i could and got out, grabbed my trousers and put them on.  i left my wig on until last. then as i was just about ready to take it off i heard a guy in the car next to me!  he had come back and was having a smoke.  i panicked a little before deciding to just drive off and finish off nearer home.

after all of this i got changed when i got in and left my tights out in clear view.  i don't know if my wife saw them, but she didn't say anything.

overall it was lovely driving in a skirt, and i couldn't stop touching my hair.  definately set a precedent and hopefully there will be more long journeys in the future!

stress and my new hair

i should be stressed out, but i am not.

we recently got some bad news at work where we had lost a major contract, meaning that from 1st Jan 2013 there would be some redundancies.  I was a bit worried as i always felt that my department was overstaffed without this.  i was the last one in, and didn't do much during the week.

However, my boss managed to get another job and left 2 weeks ago.  I was promoted to his position, over someone who had done the job at the company for over 5 years.  so all good news so far, especially with a bit more money and a feeling of more security.

however this week as been extremely busy and just the two of us have loads of jobs to get out before friday.  to add to this i am going on a site visit to bristol tomorrow which means i won't be in at all.  but i feel so calm, unfazed by all of this.

to let you all into a little secret, i have decided to to add to my girlyness i would re-start having my period.  i will document more on this in another post.  suffice to say i have just finished my period, and i have not touched my clit for 7 days except to clean.

i feel really girly.

i could feel some stress building up, but i had a site audit to do last night which meant i could go into work later.  instead of sleeping in, i used the time to dress up and take some pictures.  i think this dressing up has really helped my stress levels, i am so calm now you wouldn't believe it!!

i just love been a girl.

anyway, onto the pictures.  as requested (!!!!) here are some pics of me in my new wig that i so in love with.  i can't stop playing with it when i wear it.

need to make my hips bigger

like this one

a bit tarty, unintentionally flashing my panties!

a close up (don't be scared)

not a bad one

ok, but i am stood too stiff

like this one, but need hips again

i also could not find my tripod, so the photos were a bit similar.  but i did manage to take a few in the mirror - i have seen many girls on the internet / facebook / twitter do this so i am just copying them!

i am not too happy about my make-up or the poses.  i tried following a make-up advice youtube video, but realised that i just don't have enough / or the right type of make up required.  i did try to save the look, but i was not entirely happy with it.  i need to work on my make-up skills.  guess what this sissy is getting herself for christmas!

i don't think that i got any decent girly poses.  i don't think i look too happy (especially after telling a fellow sissy to smile more in the photo's!!) but i am.

anyway, one more thing - i am planning to drive to bristol dressed en femme, so should be fun.  if i get time i will post what my plans are / give a report.