Assignment x report no. 15 - The Final Chapter

dear susan,







thank you for giving this assignment such effort


over these last two weeks! in my opinion, you


went way beyond the call of duty on this one.


it's obvious to me that i set the bar much higher


than i had intended: my rule of thumb is that if


an assignment can't be carried out by a willing


sissy, then the fault lies with the assignment and


not the sissy. for this i humbly apologize.






clearly, orgasm denial is a powerful tool for


sissification; we sissies know that already! so


this assignment might well "work" in the context


of a longer term program of behavior modification


(by "work", i mean it would have the effect of


reinforcing the behavior modification program, not


*necessarily* that one would be able to achieve


orgasm following its rules!). that is, as i see


it, the context of the Sissy Station assignments


on which i modeled this assignment. however,


despite the fact that the tone of the assignment


draws on that context, i was trying to create


something that would be accessible even if one


were not committed to such a program.






more simply stated: i wanted to produce something


achievable; the context and the authoritative tone


were there to add to the fantasy.






susan, thank you also for taking us along as


you experienced this. your "ramblings" have


been most captivating (and at times wrenching),


not to mention instructive and, yes, hilarious! :D






*BIG hugs*


charmane



--- susan rhodes wrote:



> Hi charmane


>


> as the title says i gave it my best shot today.


>


> i couldn't start the day with my early morning


> Rogering, but as luck would have it, i made time for


> an extended lunch (very extended)


>


> when i got home i immediately stripped off and got


> on Roger. i then decided to excite myself up by


> reading some stories on the internet, all the while


> moving my hips on Roger. this seemd to work, so i


> got on the floor and started using Roger with a


> flourish. but to no avail, so back to the pc for


> more sissy therapy (which seemed to be working as i


> bounced on Roger, but i ultimately found out that


> the turn on must have been my boyclit rubbing on the


> chair) but i could not maintain any level of


> excitement.


>


> I was on Roger (and at times was giving it all i


> had) for 40 minutes.


>


> as the time went on i resigned myself to the fact


> that i wasn't going to be able to cum this way - IF


> i could then i would have, believe me i really


> tried.


>


> i even let Bruce have a go, which stretched my


> boypussy and made delicious sounds, but even this


> did not push me over the edge.


>


> I even joined a msn group on malemilking for some


> tips, but afetr reading it was obvious that it MAY


> be possible for some people to cum this way, but the


> vast majority of people used the "stroke and


> release" system - i.e. bringing yourself to the


> edge, then stopping, allowing cum to flow without an


> orgasm.


>


> after the 40 minutes i was sore (i had used about


> a quarter of a tube of lubricant), tired and


> frustrated. i do not think it is meant to be, if it


> was then today would have been the day.


>


> i am sorry that i cannot report to you that i have


> managed to cum this way, but it is not through lack


> of trying. i do not feel guilty that i havn't


> managed it, just a little disappointed.


>


> My work has been suffering, i havn't been sleeping


> well, i have had very little appetite; all i believe


> by my thoughts and efforts to try to complete this.


>


> Today was the day when i turned around and said


> enough is enough ( i have not had a male orgasm for


> over 3 weeks, and i have actually started to feel


> less horny by the day)


>


> i gave in to my desires and pulled myself off,


> slowly at first until i came (a small amount) which


> i then ate.


>


> i then stroked myself to orgasm, (which i have


> frozen) but it was not hte earth shattering orgasm


> you would expect, it was one more of relief.


>


> i think it has done myself good (i would have


> orgasmed on saturday with the wife anyway). i feel


> better, and have got some work done (except for


> typing this marathon letter!!)


>


> i actually want to be with my wife and have sex


> with her, i enjoy looking at photos of attractive


> women and sports.


>


> some of you may say that i am in my post orgasm


> state, but i have left it for 4 hours before writing


> this to see how i really feel. my life seems to be


> back on track already (even though i am wearing


> panties and have my toes and fingernails painted!!)


>


> the last few weeks have been a journey of


> discovery for me, and i have learnt many things


> including -


>


> * i love women


> * it is VERY hard to go without an orgasm


> * my mind changes and drifts away when i go


> without orgasm for so long


> * in a non orgasm state, i cannot operate properly


> as a man and carry out my daily tasks etc


> * i am a crossdresser and i love it - i still love


> to put on a skirt etc,but i do not have any real


> desire to find a real man to make me woman


> * i am glad to get back to walking like a man


> again


> * anal sex is enjoyable, but i believe will not


> lead to me having an orgasm, or sissy orgasm.


> * i enjoy sucking cock all be it artificial


> (especially when there is a treat of cum at the end)


>


>


> all in all i have given this assignment my best


> shot, i have "given up" 2 days early, but believe


> that i have completed it as far as i can (the


> assignment does not say you have to cum this way,


> only that if you do then you can do so as often as


> you want)


>


> i hope that my accounts of this have inspired some


> of you others to try it, and if not i apologise for


> filling up your inboxes with my ramblings.


>


> I would like to say a special thank you to


> charmane who has lead and encouraged me through this


> time - i sincerely wish you all the best with your


> make up assignment, please please please let me know


> how you get on, you may inspire me to try it!!!!!!


>


>


> Love to all


>


> susan