5th september 2011

bad news, got a phone call at 5.00am that my father had been rushed into hospital.

sent my bf an email saying sorry, but due to the above i couldn't do tuesday night, too much on my mind.

good news - by 4.00pm my dad was out and it was just a scare.

managed to get my head sorted, then sent this email
"Hi (again)

things have got sorted out a lot quicker than i had imagined, and i could do tomorrow (tuesday) night if you want to meet up.
please let me know if you want to asap. i do need to know before 4.30 tomorrow though.
i check my emails all day, or you can ring or text me anytime between 7.15 and 4.30.
if you are a bit unsure as to meeting me, i could just come over and chat etc, its up to you.
as i have said before, could you please let me know asap so i can plan other things in.
sorry for messing you about a bit. i will make it up to you ;-)
susan xx"

hope he rings or emails me.

4th september 2011

4.30pm  no calls today, although it has been raining so i turned off my phone about 2.45pm and came in.

sent him another email to say sorry we havn't spoke, but i can meet on tuesday night if he lets me know before 4.30 monday night.  and he can ring me anytime from 7-4.30 tomorrow.

10.00pm  no emails received, going to bed hoping he calls me tomorrow.

3rd September

got a reply, well 2 actually!!!

first was

"Ive not met any sissies b4-I want to enjoy kissing,being sucked and fucking my 1st sissy.


I can send you a pic if you want.

What experience have you got as a sissy?"

second was "whats your phone number, can we chat, let me know when"

these were receieved at 1.15pm, and as i was on the computer at 1.30.

i quickly replied with my number and anytime between now and 5.  i also said that i had been to a tv club, sucked dildo's etc, but not been with a man.  i also said added the following "the most important things for me if we meet are safe sex and been treated like a girl. you WILL get into my knickers but i want a bit of foreplay first."  i thought that would excite him a little.


about 20mins later my mobile rang, just once.  i did not recognise the number, so i hoped that if it was him, that he would ring back, but he didn't.  i saved the number just in case.

5.00pm no more phone calls.

:-(

2nd September

not feeling very girly for a few days i had ignored an email received from ex-boyfriend who claims he was trying to contact me for a meet.  i had given up on him and to be honest lost all of the thrill of a meet.  i havn't had an orgasm since the friday after the last email, but i have just not felt girly.

however i have felt a bit more girly over the past few days and decided to reply.

his email said "Hi,Ive been trying to phone to arrange our meet but cant get through. Can you reply? x"

i wasn't going to bother, but i am probably feeling up to it again after cheering myself up with a bit of retail therapy.

however i wasn't going to let him get away with bailing on me earlier, so i returned the following email

"Hi Sir

i have been away for a couple of weeks and just got back to check my emails.
i may be able to meet next tuesday, but i cannot confirm until monday dinner.
whilst writing, may i ask you a couple of questions...
How many men / sissys have you been with?
what was your favourite part (kissing? receiveing a blow job? having sex?)
Do you have any pictures?
susan xx"

i hope that will either shame him into meeting with me, or put him off completely!!

i will wait and see

4.50pm no answer yet....

5th august 2011

its dinnertime and nothing today.  after the "excitement" or lack of it yesterday. today is dull.  i am not waiting on every minute to check my email for a note from my BF, i have turned off my mobile and i am not bothered about him.

he had his chance and having revisisted our earlier exchanges i think he got cold feet.  i WAS so up for it yesterday, but that is his loss.  we have pencilled in next tuesday night, but i am not sure he is "the one" for me.

in an effort to get him to agree last night, i offered (after the first time) to go regularly to his house and suck him off and swallow his load, as i thought this might get him to change his plans, but to no avail.

as for my PBF, then it is making time in our schedules to get together.  i was up for it this week, but the moment seems to be passing now.

4th August 2011

had a not bad nights sleep, still quite horny but not as bad as last night.  got some dark circles under my eyes though.  may have to buy some makeup to cover them up today.

8.00am checked my email, and YAY! my BF got back to me saying "yes lets meet x"  only 1 kiss though, a girl wants more than that.

he also sent the email at 2.15am this morning, i hope he wasn't with some tramp.

will wait for a hour or so and then send him a get ready for tonight email!!!
feeling dead giddy now.  i wonder what other/real girls felt like before their first time?

9.30am couldn't wait any longer to send my BF the message that i will be there tonight.  sent him my mobile number so he can get in touch.  asked him for his address and confirmation about using a condom for oral sex.

hope he replies soon, but it might be unlikely!

looked at myself in the mirror - i seem to have come out in a few spots, just typical, i want to look my best and now i have spots.  looks like i am going to have to buy some concealer before my date.

enjoy typing the words date and BF. still giddy.  can't get any work done thinking about my date with my BF.

11.15 still no news.  if he really wanted me, wouldn't he have emailed by now??

1.00pm still nothing  :(

2.30pm again still nothing.  at this rate i will be setting off to his house before i know where it is!!  i have stopped recording whenever i check my email, it is too much typing.

2.45 and i notice that my BF has been online as he had logged in on the cottaging site where we met 10 minutes ago.  he had checked out my profile which is good, but still no email.  i quickly sent off a message through the cottaging site to ask him for his address.  maybe he has picked up the email and is going to ring me!!  but nothing yet.

its 3.00 pm now, and in 5 hours time i could have his cock in my mouth or my ass.  but i don't where to find him...

4.30 still nothing and i am heading home.  got to wait until he rings me now.
called on way hoe to get my hair cut, thought it might get hot under the wig tonight.

5.20 almost home when the phone rings.  at last my BF has rung me, on a witheld number :(
the bad news, he has got someone coming over tonight so we can't meet.  but the strange thing was that he then offered to come to mine?  anyway,he asked about the condom for oral sex, and i said i want to the first time, but maybe after that if we become a regular couple, then i may reconsider.  he then asked me if i had done this before, and i answered honestly, no.  i told him i cammitted to getting some action and he was the next person to contact me.  i asked him if it was a problem, and he said no.  he also asked how i was to dress when i arrived.  i told him how ever he wants, but he wants to be discrete, so it would be in male mode and change inside.

after finally talking this through he said he would get back to me within 1/2 hour to see if he could arrange something.  its 15mins on and i still don't know anything.  i am no further on than this morning lol.

well its 3 hours later and i thnk i have been dumped.  he did ask about tomorrow night, but i said no.  maybe if i said yes he would love me again?  feel like eating a lot to make myself happy.
why are men so cruel?
why don't they do what they say they will do?
why can't i get any sex?
*sob sob*

3rd august 2011

after a restless nights sleep trying to figure out why no-one wants me (am i too forward, not forward enough, am i not offering what they want, should i get some bigger boobs? etc) i woke up and checked my emails to no messages, again :(

9.00am work tonight got cancelled so i have decided to take the bull by the horn and contact my PBF to see if he can accomodate me.  i have all of my clothes in the car ready for him.  he is usually online now so i expect an answer by return.

10.00am got to go out for a few hours, no response from my PBF.  i cannot even give my ass away!!!

10.10am Yay!!! got response from my PBF!!! - he says he cannot do tonight.  felt a bit gutted, and i told him that i was very horny and wanted to dress and have sex with him asap.  he says he feels the same way.  just got to get his wife out of the way!!

had a little girly adventure today, but i have posted about that earlier!!

3.00pm had to go out, but got back and decided to email my BF and tell him he can have me tonight if he wants me, but has to let me know by 4.30pm.  sent longish sexy email, i am sure if he gets the email in time, i will be there tonight!!!

4.30pm yes you guessed it - nothing. i will only give him until friday.  if he doesn't get in touch by then, then i must move on.

8.00pm my BF emailed me at 7.30pm saying he had just got my message and he supposed it was too late.  if only he had checked his emails earlier i would be in his arms now.  i am making an extra effort to try to see him tomorrow.  sent him another "what i am going to do to you" email to keep him horny and ask if we are on tomorrow.  if not it will be next tuesday at earliest.  think i will go insane by then.

8.30pm no reply :( i need to know does he want me or not?

off to get shaved best i can just in case...

2nd august 2011

11am - still no news from my boyfriend.  he must have dumped me.  how long do i leave it before i call it a day and move on.  my second admirer has been in touch this morning, he is keen.

my second admirer, now upgraded to PBF (potential boyfriend) is trying to arrange a time when we can meet.  he is married, so i am going to be the other woman.  this excites me, but part of me thinks if he is cheating on her, will he cheat on me??  better save these thoughts until we actually get together.

told my PBF to pencil in 16th august.  this will be the day that susan goes back to school!!!  hope he teaches me a few lessons

been looking on where to put my hands, i have decided that i will put my arms around his neck and draw him into me.  that way i can play with his hair, stroke his neck etc.  if he responds favourably, then i might go onto my tiptoes for him (he is taller than me, even in my 4" heels).  new problem now is what to do if he grabs my ass.  shoudl i let him grope away, or should i act a bit shy to start with and coyly move his hand away.

he knows i am going to put out for him, but i am going insane waiting for him to get in touch.  going to take the initiative and "wink" at him!!

3.30pm i have been checking my email every 20minutes today, and since early this morning, neither my BF or PBF have been in touch.  it sucks been a girl wanting some action.

9.30pm still no-one been in touch.  very fed up now.  off to bed

Monday 1st August 2011

its 10.00pm and i have checked my email every 20 minutes throughout the day.  feeling down again, maybe i pushed my boyfriend too far.  i offered to do almost anything with him, as long as it was safe, but maybe he has had second thoughts.  i am sure i am not too fat, maybe i am too old.  i really did think he could be the one.

why don't men ever respond, are they afraid to say no thanks?

however, whilst i was checking my messages on cottaging, another man has got in touch.  i thought this would be some harmless flirting, so i thought "what the heck" and we flirted for a while.  he wants me to dress as a schoolgirl who has failed a test and needs to get some extra marks from the teacher.  i am loving talking to him, our messages are quite sexy.  he is dead keen to meet me, i think he must be thinking with his "other brain" again.

my new admirer was quite insistant throughout the day.  i have told him that i can't meet him this week, because i have another appointment (boyfriend) although he hasn't been in touch  :(

whilst waiting for my boyfriend, i am getting nervous about kissing him, what should i do with my hands?  i know what to do with my hands when i was predending to be a guy, but now i am a girl, what should i do?  maybe i should look this up.

sunday 31st july 2011
its dinnertime now and i still haven't had a reply.  it looks like he doesn't want me.  i was starting to think about him and referring to him as my boyfriend, but now nothing- i have been dumped before we even met

YAY - checked again at 5.00pm and my boyfriend has got back to me.  he says he likes the photos, especially the ones of me in stockings and suspenders - a typical man, doesn't notice the effort i went to in the other photos, but likes to see me in my underwear the best.  do men only think of one thing?

5.30pm - got another email asking if it was ok if he didn't wear a condom for oral sex, he wants me to swallow it all.  i am not sure about this.

8.00pm - done some research, and you can catch STD's etc from oral sex.  as its my first time i don't want to be worrying about this, i want to enjoy myself!!

decided to send email back to boyfriend telling him i want to see a condom if his cock is going into my mouth.  told him that it is to protect us both.  also told him i will wear stockings and suspenders for him, and that i want him to be in charge.

getting giddy about this now, hope he replies soon.

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Sissy Bucket List

with a little idea stolen from sissy girl lauren blog (http://sissygirllauren.blogspot.com/) i have decided to put a bucket list together for us sissys.

this is a list of everything we should do / aim for before a certain date, in no particular order.

Please feel free to add to it in the comments and i will amend the list accordingly.

1) Be smooth all over
2) Give a messy hand job
3) Suck a real cock
4) Have a man take your virginity
5) wear a butt plug to work
6) wear full lingerie (bra, stockings, suspenders and panties to work)
7) have your make up done by someone else
8) walk out in the dark dressed en femme
9) walk out in daylight dressed en femme
10) suck on a dildo
11) take a dildo in your pussy
12) have an orgasm puely from anal stimulation
13) visit a TV / Gay bar dressed en femme
14) Experience a sissy period, and not just once for several months on the trot.
15) Visit a mistress
16) visit a salon and have your eyebrows waxed
17) Have your finger nails painted / manicure
18) have your toe nails painted / pedicure
19) get a feminine hairstyle / haircut
20) have a professional photo done while dressed.


i am not going to list which and what i have done, i will save that for later and we can all compare then!!

this post is for the list for us all to aspire to, please add to it.

more shopping, but on ebay this time...





following the purchase of my skirt and shoes i received an email regarding a product call "nubra" that could give me a bit of cleavage if worn with the right clothes.  interested, i did some research and found a copy product (to try out) on ebay and i have placed an order.  it will take a few weeks to arrive from hong kong so please be patient, even though i can't wait.

i will let you all know how it gets on, and whether you need to get buying. if it is a success...(maybe i should start selling them and modelling them????)

+ for Jennyuwhen - i can't take a picture in my new skirt as it doesn't fit me!!!!

but i will post some pictures shortly.

some good news, then some bad news, then some good news

ok what am i talking about???

i was working late last night at an asda away from home.  the people i went to see were somewhere in the store, so i thought i would have a look around before contacting them (the store was open 24hrs).

i headed straight for the womens clothing section, and as it was quiet had a good browse about.  after about 10 minutes i walked into the store, then decided to go back and buy myself a skirt i had seen.

The skirt was a black pleasted mini and they had my size - for £9.  i also noticed that they had some flat pumps with a bow on front in my size - £6.  i went and bought them both, using the self-scan checkout.

i wanted the flats so i could dress girly and be able to drive (note - if you have never tried driving in 4" heels, then my advice, for safety reasons, is don't - if you have, then you will know what i mean)  so these flats were ideal.

all good news so far...

went to work, did what i had to do and 1 hour later was on my way home.  i decided to change into my skirt and shoes for the journey home.  the shoes fit perfectly, but (and the bad news) the skirt is too big for me.  i was a bit upset as i couldn't return it because i had just cut off all the tickets so i could wear it!!

after i put my trousers back on, i realised that this was actually good news.  it looks like i have dropped a skirt size.  Yay.

as a side issue, i got called back to the store about 15mins later, and i had a look but they didn't have my (new) size.